


dude, we're getting the band back together!

by iuwui



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Boohbah Babies, But Not Deep Shakespeare, Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, Crack, Crush List Reveals, Discord - Freeform, Dives Headfirst Into The Void, Echan Fifth Wheeling Like The Icon He Is, Gen, Geonu Is Counting Down, Hamilton - Freeform, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, Lee Heeseung Is Clueless, M/M, Movie Night, My Fingers Type This Bullshit Out And You Get To Suffer, References to Shakespeare, Respect The Pronouns, Sponsored By Pine-Sol, Stolen Bananas, Stupid Shakespeare, Subtle flirting, Sunoo Is The Main Character, The Idiots Are Together, Theatre Kids, There Is Trouble Afoot, UH OH SPAGHETTI OS, When Two Idiots Try To Get Two Other Idiots Together, almost everyone is gay, chat fic, error 404 no heterosexuals found, partially inspired by true events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iuwui/pseuds/iuwui
Summary: High school is an absolute complete mess. Crushes, drama, memes, one-on-one calls, failed confessions, dick jokes, Asian-American diasphora, and the ghost of an old gym teacher who only speaks in Spanish.Join 22 (and a half) boys, as they navigate their way through laughter, chaos, and a whole lot of server mutes.- - -#generaltwinkiedid i miss something?The Rockin’ Red Reaperthis dicktwinkienothing important, thank god.
Relationships: Choi Seunghyuk | Seon/Choi Jaeho, Lee Geonu/Lee Heeseung, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 340
Kudos: 70





	1. i have an idea! (no. stop.)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jakey_jake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jakey_jake/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note that this discord link is (was) functional but i don't know how to use it.

_Discord (1 New Notification)_

_ddeonu has sent you a message_

_Reply_

**ddeonu**

sunghoon~ ^-^

**Sunghoon**

What.

**ddeonu**

i just had the best idea

**Sunghoon**

Is this anything like your idea of pouring ten gallons of glue over me for charity?

**ddeonu**

that was five years ago

will you ever let that go

**Sunghoon**

No.

I literally told you to just pour the ice cold water over me and get it over with.

**ddeonu**

i didn’t want you to get sick ;n;

**Sunghoon**

I was digging glue out of places glue should never be for two weeks.

**ddeonu**

i _said_ i was sorry

_**Sunghoon** is typing… _

**ddeonu**

pls don’t kill me i’m sorry

**Sunghoon**

h

**ddeonu**

anyways i had an idea which involves people

**Sunghoon**

My answer is no.

**ddeonu**

but you know all our old friend groups and how we scattered once we hit high school??

i miss them (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

**Sunghoon**

You do know you can, like.

Message them?

Without pretending that it’s for school?

**ddeonu**

why do you text Like This

it Threatens me

**Sunghoon**

It’s just proper grammar.

Also, for practice with people in position of authority.

I can’t exactly “slide into” my English teacher’s email with a “yo what’s good proffy i need an extension k thx (/ε＼*)”.

**ddeonu**

first of all

nobody talks like that (edited)

**Sunghoon**

“Nobidy”

**ddeonu**

shut up

**Sunghoon**

Heh.

**ddeonu**

there i edited my message are you proud

**Sunghoon**

I’m naming my first child Nobidy.

**ddeonu**

the poor child

cursed with you as a parent

**Sunghoon**

Sunoo, if you don’t have anything productive to add to this conversation, I will block you.

**ddeonu**

nO WAIT OKAY SO

see? it’s foulproof

**Sunghoon**

*Foolproof

What makes you think they’ll agree?

**ddeonu**

literally every is having trouble adjusting to remote learning

believe me

they’ll agree

**Sunghoon**

Are you implying that you’re using this server to cheat?

**ddeonu**

oh shut up, valedictorian of class of ‘22

**Sunghoon**

And what’s going to stop me from telling on you?

**ddeonu**

lol snitches get stitchers

**Sunghoon**

“Stitchers”

**ddeonu**

yes and what about it whore

**Sunghoon**

You are truly on a different plane of existence

**ddeonu**

thank you <33

**Sunghoon**

That was the furthest thing from a compliment I have ever given.

**ddeonu**

( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Sunghoon**

Alright. I have a project. 

Please go.

**ddeonu**

i have your seal of approval!!!!

:DDDDDD

I LOVE YOU~~ 

Ɛ>

**Sunghoon**

How did you-?

Never mind. 

I don’t want to know.

**ddeonu**

i won’t let you down, i promise!

_**Sunghoon** is offline _

\- - -

**not_tsukishima_kei**

This is the beginning of your direct message history with @not_tsukishima_kei

**therealkimsunoo**

hi kei!! it’s been a while, hasn’t it?

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRn](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**not_tsukishima_kei**

hey, sunoo. 

as much as i appreciate the sentiment, i’ve already graduated. i barely use discord as is, but good luck with your school server.

\- - -

**hubi**

yeah, i can’t wait to see you at the student showcase :DD (2 years ago)

**ddeonu**

hi hanbin :)) i’m starting a thing- i was hoping you could be an admin or a mentor or something?

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRn](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**hubi**

i’d love to! i’m really busy rn so i might not be as active, but if you need help in ap chem, i’m your guy!

**ddeonu**

yay, thank you!

\- - -

**seonxxs**

This is the beginning of your direct message history with @seonxxs

**therealkimsunoo**

hi seon. i’m starting a school server and i hope you can join!

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRn](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**seonxxs**

fdashgkgg

\- - -

**ddeonu**

hihi geonu

**geonu**

no.

**ddeonu**

i tried. here’s the link anyways :)

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRn](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

\- - -

**ddeonu**

JAEBEOM MY BEST FRIEND AND GREATEST ROLE MODEL

**jaebeom <3**

HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU, MY YOU PROTÉGÉ. HOW IS SOPHOMORE YEAR GOING?

**ddeonu**

IT’S GOODDDDDD I MISS YOU SO MUCH ;-;

**jaebeom <3**

WE’LL SEE EACH OTHER SOON FOR THE NEXT IMPROV CLUB MEET DON’T CRY BBY

**ddeonu**

I STARTED A DISCORD SERVER DO YOU WANT TO JOIN

**jaebeom <3**

IS MACBETH A PIECE OF SHIT?

**ddeonu**

YES OFC

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRn](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**jaebeom <3**

SLIDING INTO THOSE SERVERS HARDER THAN GEONU IN THE NEWSIES PERFORMANCE FRESHMAN YEAR

**ddeonu**

wait, what?

**jaebeom <3**

can you pretend like you’ve never seen that message

**ddeonu**

what message?

**jaebeom <3**

talk soon my wonderful child

\- - -

**chu_chu_train#5930**

Friend request pending

\- - -

**lee heeseung**

link?

**ddeonu**

what, did sunghoon tell you already?

**lee heeseung**

yes. and kei. and geonu.

**ddeonu**

why are you popular smh

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRn](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

\- - -

**ddeonu**

hiiiii

**youngbean**

ready for basketball tryouts?

**ddeonu**

yes! i’m hoping to make it onto junior varsity this year

**youngbean**

i’m helping coach you guys next season

**ddeonu**

i’m so excited!

also, i’m starting a school server, wanna come?

**youngbean**

sure. link?

**ddeonu**

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRn](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

\- - -

Notes:

Kei ❌

Hanbin ✔️

Seon (?)

Geonu ❌

Jaebeom (＾◇＾) YESSSS ✔️✔️✔️✔️

Jimin (?)

Heeseung ✔️

Youngbin ✔️

**send messages to tomorrow**

too tired rn

ahdfskj

keyboaed smash

hee

lie heeseung hehe

Jay

EJ

Sungcheol

Jungwon

Kyungmin

Ta-ki ^ω^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, iuwui, you say, completely normally
> 
> i see you have a chaptered fic
> 
> yes, another one
> 
> are you, by chance, going to give us one chapter to get attached to the characters and then disappear again?
> 
> i don't know. am i?
> 
> comments and kudos are _cackles evilly _mine, all mine!__
> 
> edit: this ao3 formatting is being mean and is not loading so click on [this](https://imgflip.com/i/4qo478)


	2. ddeonu vs. the world

**hey_its_jay**

do you have the answers to the math homework

**hey_its_jay**

wait sorry you arent sunghoon

**sunoo**

BUT DO I HAVE A CONCEPT FOR YOU

**hey_its_jay**

concept??

wdym

like thinking?

**sunoo**

a _lack_ of thinking

a way to breeze through things

**hey_its_jay**

you sound like a used car salesman

**sunoo**

do you even know what that is

rich boy

with airpods

**hey_its_jay**

ok ok whats up

**sunoo**

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC ](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**hey_its_jay**

HELL YEAH 

TRIG SUCK A DICK

**sunoo**

great now i have to go change the rating of this

**hey_its_jay**

wtf

**sunoo**

#NSFW

**hey_its_jay**

bro

**hey_its_jay**

bro

**hey_its_jay**

bro

sunoo

**hey_its_jay**

...sunoo?

**hey_its_jay**

nvrmind

_**hey_its_jay** is playing a game: Rocket League _

\- - -

**eeeeeeeeejay**

This is the beginning of your direct message history with @eeeeeeeeejay

**therealkimsunoo**

hey ej! i’ve started a school server and it would be great if you can join

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC ](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Oh cool thx

Can I invite other people

**therealkimsunoo**

that would be awesome!

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Bet

Alright cool talk later

\- - -

**ddeonu**

i swear ej texts so straightly it terrifies me

**Sunghoon**

?

**ddeonu**

nothing see you soon

**Sunghoon**

That’s ominous.

**ddeonu**

your typing is ominous

\- - -

**Federal Bureau of Investigation#8820**  
Hello, Kim Sunwoo. You’re under investigation.

**sunoo**

my name is sunoo

the only people who call me sunwoo are my mom and my sister when they’re mad

anyways is this sungcheol

**Federal Bureau of Investigation#8820**

No, this is the FBI. Please comply with our searches.

**sunoo**

what?

**Federal Bureau of Investigation#8820**

65.49.22.66

**sunoo**

bruh is that my ip address

**Federal Bureau of Investigation#8820**

We will be searching for you, Kim Sunwoo.

**sunoo**

PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I WAS JUST TYRING TO GIVE SOMEBODY A L:INK

**Federal Bureau of Investigation#8820**

sus

**sunoo**

oh my god sungcheol

never do that again

i hate you

i really do

you gave me a heart attack

**Federal Bureau of Investigation#8820**

lol

**sunoo**

i rescind my invitation

you aren’t allowed in my server

**Federal Bureau of Investigation#8820**

alright

see you at basketball tryouts

**sunoo**

fuuuuuck you

\- - -

**ddeonu**

hellllllllllooooo yang jungwon

**bunwonnie**

Have you changed my name

**ddeonu**

lol nope

anyways do you wanna join my server for school

**bunwonnie**

Can you guys help me in Biology

**ddeonu**

biology, geometry, english, ap chem, world history, tax fraud, band, forensics, killing a man and leaving no trace behind, spanish, latin, basketball and theatre, trigonometry, debate

**bunwonnie**

Sounds good

Link?

**ddeonu**

jungwonnie </3

i thought you actually loved me </3

but it was only for my link </3

**bunwonnie**

Oh, shut up

**ddeonu**

since you asked so nicely

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC ](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**bunwoonie**

Lol thank you

See you soon

\- - -

**EXO_squirrel**

oh no

why are you typing

please stop typing

**ddeonu**

am i really that scary

**EXO_squirrel**

yes

**ddeonu**

hmph, you hang out with geonu

but _i’m_ the scary one

**EXO_squirrel**

you are

all

enthusiastic

and shit

**ddeonu**

PDSKJGFJDLJLKDLKF GOODBYE

IS THIS HOW THE WORLD PERCEIVES ME

**EXO_squirrel**

i’m sorry?

**ddeonu**

i’m killing geonu

here’s the link to the server

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC ](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

\- - -

**ddeonu**

GEONU

WHY

**geonu**

i’m blocking you.

**ddeonu**

EXCUSE ME? YOU CAN’T JUST BL O KC ME

I HAVE QUESTIONS THAT THE MANAGEMENT NEED TO ANSWER

THIS IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT **message failure**

THIS IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT **message failure**

G E O N U

_You have been blocked by this user._

\- - -

**ddeonu**

SUNGHOON

SUNGHOON I HAVE A COMPLAINT

**Sunghoon**

What now?

**ddeonu**

TELL GEONU TO UNBLOCK ME

**Sunghoon**

You do know I can’t tell him to do anything, right?

**ddeonu**

WELL

WELL TELL HEESEUNG TO TELL GEONU TO UNBLOCK ME ノಠ_ಠノ

**Sunghoon**

I’ll be sure to pass the message along.

**ddeonu**

i hate you all

**Sunghoon**

Okay, Sunoo.

Have you completed your Biology lab?

**ddeonu**

NO

SHOT UP

**Sunghoon**

Duly noted.

\- - -

**taki-roomba**

hi sunoo :DD

**ddeonu**

oh myu god

taki

i love you

**taki-roomba**

i love you too!!

**ddeonu**

ノಠ_ಠノ

**taki-roomba**

?

**ddeonu**

OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY

I MEANT TO SEND YOU THE SERVER LINK

**taki-roomba**

oh, okay!

are you doing dance team this year?

i really want to audition but i’m afraid i won’t know anyone…

**ddeonu**

YES OF COURSE WHY WOULD I NOT

also i’ll introduce you to jaebeom!

he’ll love you

**taki-roomba**

^-^

**ddeonu**

You’ve been invited to a server!

[ https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC ](https://discord.gg/Ve8UKRnC)

**taki-roomba**

ty :DD

\- - -

Notes:

Kei ❌

Hanbin ✔️

Seon (?)

Geonu ❌

Jaebeom (＾◇＾) YESSSS ✔️✔️✔️✔️

Jimin (?)

Heeseung ✔️

Youngbin ✔️

Jay ✔️

EJ ✔️

Sungcheol ❌ hard no ❌

Jungwon ✔️

Kyungmin (?)

Ta-ki ^ω^ ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️ (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today was such a day
> 
> i want to collapse but i've still got work to do because i procrastinated again *bangs head against a wall*


	3. eduardo eduardo eduardo

**School**

**#general**

where we generally talk

_**Park Sunghoon** just slid into the server! _

**Park Sunghoon**

Please don’t make me regret this.

_Welcome, **Hanbin**. We hope you brought pizza. _

_**hey_its_jay** just showed up. _

**hey_its_jay**

can somebody change my name

**Sunghoon**

Oh, no.

**hey_its_jay**

i knew you werent inactive

**Sunghoon**

I think I made that pretty obvious.

**hey_its_jay**

your bullshit is astronomical

**Sunghoon**

Wow, nice vocabulary word!

_**seonxxs** just landed! _

**seonxxs**

eqrptrepotu

**hey_its_jay**

thats a crunchy ass keyboard smash

_**jaebeom** just arrived! _

_Welcome, **twinkie**. _

_Everyone give it up for **Jungwon**. _

**Jungwon**

So do we like set up sessions?

**ddeonu**

HOLD ON TOO MANY PEOPLE

_Welcome, **teriyaki**! We hope you brought pizza. _

_**bark** is here. _

**bark**

i really need to change my username

_**eduardo** has arrived. _

_Welcome, **tree**! _

**Sunghoon**

...is that Kyungmin?

**tree**

yes

unfortunately

**hey_its_jay**

ayeeeee

who’d sunoo pay off

**ddeonu**

jay

jay i have admin privileges

and i am not afraid to use them

_**hohoho** just landed! _

**hohoho**

wassup do we cheat here

**ddeonu**

who the heck are you

**hohoho**

i’m hoe

**ddeonu**

hi hoe, i’m sunoo

**Sunghoon**

Is this everyone?

**Jungwon**

I invited two of my friends, Yoonwon and Taeyong

**ddeonu**

yEAAAAAAAAAAAH

_**Yoongles Man** is here! We hope you brought pizza. _

**Yoongles Man**

Yoongles for sale!

Get your free Yoongles here!

Only $34.99 in three easy payments of $11.66!

Get your fresh hot smoking chocolate peppermint sour cream and onion Yoongles!

It’s good for the heart and the soul!

**hey_its_jay**

what the fuck

_**The Cooler Twin** just arrived. _

**The Cooler Twin**

nice

**Sunghoon**

I give this ten seconds before it explodes into flames.

**eduardo**

Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo. Anoche hice el amor apasionadamente con tu madre. 

( _Trans: Hello, my name is Eduardo. I made passionate love to your mother last night.)_

**bark**

times like this make me regret taking spanish

**The Cooler Twin**

please tell me that google translate is wrong

**Jungwon**

oh my god

**Sunghoon**

Now why would you go and ruin a perfectly good day like that?

**ddeonu**

EVERYONE

GET INTO **#introductions-and-roles**

RIGHT NOW

**ddeonu pinned a message to the chat.**

\- - -

**#introductions-and-roles**

where we introduce ourself

**ddeonu**

name

age

grade

pronouns

reason why you’re here

extracurriculars

fun facts

**ddeonu**

i’ll start!

sunoo

15

10th grade (sophomore)

he/him/his

i’m the admin

theatre, basketball, debate, entrepreneurship, robotics, poetry, gay-straight alliance, mental health awareness, asian-american, acapella, dance team, music education funding, key, student council

i’m one of the youngest members of my grade and i was out from third to sixth due to complications with lymphoma. i’m all better now though :D

**The Cooler Twin**

taeyong

15

tenth grade

he/him

i needed help with biology and jungwon suggested this

orchestra, cross country, entrepreneurship, yearbook

i have a twin. we were child actors. he goes to our rival school. we are no longer on speaking terms.

**seonxxs**

Seon

age is a material thing that humans created

senior citizen (i get tuesday discounts)

he/him any pronouns chill though because fuck the gender spectrum

i gave up. i am no longer trying, when i graduate i am driving off a cliff into the pacific ocean.

does therapy count? 

fun fact i can listen to labrinth in a drained swimming pool while eating a slice of cold pizza off of a paper plate while crying.

\- - -

**#general**

**Sunghoon**

Sorry for switching channels, but @seonxxs are you okay?

**seonxxs**

no

**twinkie**

i completely relate to the above statement

\- - -

**#introduction-and-roles**

**eduardo**

eduardo eduardo

eduardo

el

eduardo

tu madre

no habla español

**Sunghoon**

Park Sunghoon

16

I am in eleventh grade. I moved here when I was five and repeated Pre-K because of my poor English.

he/him/his

I am here to help out and also, perhaps, ‘loosen up’. I try as hard as possible. Before everything shifted to lockdown, I skated competitively. I also participate in debate, poetry and the Gay-Straight Alliance, though I am looking to expand my horizons. 

I am unlabeled, although Sunoo enjoys calling me his pet het. He finds it hilarious for some reason.

**Jungwon**

Jungwon Lee

14

Sophomore

he/him/his

I take a couple of accelerated classes, but I came in here to help (and to ask help with Biology). 

I know the majority of people from Korean school, church and from soccer. Key Club, Debate, Model UN, Photography, Asian-American Culture, Soccer, and Track & Field.

I’m not really sure what my fun fact is??

**Yoongles Man**

Yoonwon (Aron) (Yoongles Man)

14

freshman

he/him

i’m kind of a mess and need to get my grades up before they take a slide during midterms

Basketball, badminton, dance team, improv, pep band, yearbook

I peddle Yoongles like street vendors hawk their ways. Yoongles! Piping hot Yoongles!

**hohoho**

Jaeho

Senior

not sure why i’m here hopefully i can help out or someone can help with my college apps bc i sure as hell don’t want to fill them out

i literally can’t remember my clubs rn

enjoy your free life while you can, children. it only goes downhill.

**tree**

kyungmin jo

15

freshman

he/him

robotics and soccer, entrepreneurship, photography

no i do not play basketball. no i do not ever plan on playing basketball. please stop asking me.

\- - -

**hohoho**

sorry i forgot to put my pronouns in my intro but i go by he/him pronouns

**eduardo**

eduardo

**Yoongles Man**

_YOONGLES_

**eduardo**

_EDUARDO_

**ddeonu**

if i see one more person in the general chat i will unhinge my jaw and swallow them whole

(ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

**teriyaki**

even me?

**ddeonu**

WHAT NO

**Sunghoon**

It looks like Sunoo has to consume his own self.

**ddeonu**

/mute @ **Sunghoon**

**Jungwon**

Harsh

ddeonu

/mute @ **Jungwon**

**teriyaki**

ddeonu, are you sure you aren’t abusing admin privileges?

**ddeonu**

they knew the rules, they’re suffering the consequences

oh shit i don’t have a rules tag

\- - -

**#rules**

listen to these and sunoo bc he is the supreme overlord

**ddeonu**

  1. have basic human decency
  2. don’t spam
  3. i have owner privileges. i will use them.
  4. nobody hurts taki or i will rip them into tiny pieces with my bare hands



\- - -

**#introductions-and-roles**

**teriyaki**

hi, i’m ta-ki! you can just call me taki though ^-^

14

freshman

he/him/his

i just moved here so i’m still figuring things out! i knew sunoo before this from camp. i’m thinking of joining a couple of clubs and i definitely want to do dance.

my fun fact is that i saw bts in concert!

\- - -

**#general**

_**The Rockin' Red Reaper** just showed up! _

**ddeonu**

who the FUCK gave noh sungcheol a link

oh wait you guys aren’t allowed to talk yet

argh, i hate it when i make self imposed roadblocks

\- - -

**bitch boy**

surprise

**ddeonu**

i can’t kick you yet

but be on your best behavior

i will kill you otherwise

**bitch boy**

i’m scared

\- - -

**#introduction-and-roles**

hey_its_jay

jay park (yes, like the singer. i know. ive heard the jokes.)

16

he/him

junior

bruh i need help in everything. i will cheat.

american football but our school team sucks, golf, asina-america culture, entrepreneurship, business, finance, debate, student government (vote me for vice president)

fun fact sunghoon hates my guts

**jaebeom**

jaebeom jung

17

senior

don’t really need help- sunoo invited me

theatre, acapella, improv, music education funding, film, key club, gay-straight alliance, mental health awareness, asian-american club, soup kitchen volunteering, student council (i’ve been secretary for three years)

i’m a very active member in our arts department, and i’d love it if some of you guys joined!

\- - -

**ddeonu**

is that everyone?

**hey_its_jay**

i think so

**ddeonu**

cool

/unmute @ **Sunghoon**

/unmute @ **Jungwon**

i’m going to bed

**Sunghoon**

It’s five pm.

**ddeonu**

and i haven’t slept in thirsty six hours

request denied

**Sunghoon**

"Thirsty six".

**ddeonu**

/mute @ **Sunghoon**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eduardo


	4. please sir i have a family (you had one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made myself laugh editing this chapter which either means i’m an egotistical maniac or actually kind of funny
> 
> let’s go with the second option

**#general**

**hey_its_jay**

what now

**Jungwon**

Do your homework

**hey_its_jay**

other than that

  
  
 **twinkie**  
did i miss something.

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

this dick

**twinkie**

nothing important, thank god.

**Jungwon**

Introduce yourself sir

**twinkie**

you know me??

i live with you??

**Jungwon**

Sunoo unmuted me before his nap

I take my role very seriously

\- - -

**Sunghoon**

Sunoo.

Wake up.

**ddeonu**

i’m sleeping shut up

**Sunghoon**

Your Spotify icon is active. You’ve probably been scrolling through Reddit Horror Stories while lying in bed, drooling on yourself. Honestly, Shawn Mendes is a new low.

**ddeonu**

i hate you omg

**Sunghoon**

As it were, I kindly ask you to unblock me.

**ddeonu**

go taker this up with mee6

you were very big word and such

leave me and my wonder alone

\- - -

**#introductions**

**twinkie**

heeseung

17

senior

he/him they/them

pump it up! bee da bum de dum da dum

jungwon’s older sibling <3

\- - -

**Sunghoon**

Geonu, are you here?

**geonu**

who do you think i am.

park sunghoon.

huh.

**Sunghoon**

Look, if you join the Discord server that Sunoo insisted on creating, I can convince him to unmute me.

**geonu**

you got muted?

perfect sunghoon?

pet het sunghoon?

never-does-anything-wrong-sunghoon?

**Sunghoon**

Thanks.

And yes, I did.

**geonu**

  
  


**Sunghoon**

Keep laughing. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

**geonu**

god, you are insufferable.

**Sunghoon**

I’ve been told.

**geonu**

what’s in it for me.

**Sunghoon**

I’ll buy you ice cream?

**geonu**

i’m lactose intolerant.

**Sunghoon**

I can help you talk to Heeseung.

**geonu**

unnecessary, however misguided your darling intentions are.

**Sunghoon**

I’ll tell Sunoo to stop bothering you.

**geonu**

didn’t you just say you needed me to get rid of sunoo?

**Sunghoon**

I’ll tell them about the Newsies performance.

**geonu**

try it, kid.

and who fucking told you?

**Sunghoon**

Sunoo.

**geonu**

of course, of course.

please hold.

\- - -

**geonu**

hello.

kim sunwoo.

i would like to discuss something with you.

**ddeonu**

whatever it is, i didn’t do it

⊂（゜Д゜⊂

**geonu**

you will die for these crimes.

**ddeonu**

please

please my family

**geonu**

believe me, your family doesn’t care.

**ddeonu**

_HONKS FEARFULLY_

**geonu**

Ten.

**ddeonu**

wh-what

**geonu**

Nine.

**ddeonu**

（ΩДΩ）

**geonu**

Eight.

**ddeonu**

this was a great chat!!

unForTUNATELY I HAVE SOME PRIOR COMMITMENTS I MUST BE GOING 

**geonu**

Seven.

**ddeonu**

BYE TALK TO YOU LATER

**geonu**

Six.

\- - -

**ddeonu**

HELP

**Sunghoon**

No can do, buddy.

**ddeonu**

ILL UNMUTE YOU PLEASE THIS IS LIFE AND DEATH

**Sunghoon**

Spicy.

**ddeonu**

park sunghoon

was that

humor

(◑○◑)

**Sunghoon**

What?

I thought as your “pet het” I had no sense of humor.

**ddeonu**

hold on sir i just gotta

😎🤏🕶😀

what the fawk

**Sunghoon**

You should get off of TikTok. Social media is designed to enrapture you and steal your time, because the more you interact with the app, the more you become invested in it. This starts an addiction. Did you know that the serotonin high people get when they receive multiple notifications rivals crack cocaine? Not only that, you buy into their ploys of capitalism. Studies have found that the new generation is 30% more distracted than millennials, due to us growing up in an age and an environment where technology is the norm.

**ddeonu**

my guy

how did you know that meme was from tiktok

**Sunghoon**

It’s the only app stupid enough to come up with that.

**ddeonu**

HEY

\- - -

**geonu**

Five.

**ddeonu**

I THIUGHT YOU STOPPED

**geonu**

Four.

\- - -

**#general**

**ddeonu**

OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING

/unmute @ **Sunghoon**

**Sunghoon**

Ah, freedom.

**ddeonu**

SHUT UP

THIS IS SERIOUS

**Yoongles Man**

said the clown

**ddeonu**

is today just national bully sunoo day

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

every day is bully sunoo day

**ddeonu**

on god sungcheol say one more thing and i’ll

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

ooh you wanna kiss me so bad

**ddeonu**

what

**Sunghoon**

What.

**twinkie**

what

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

what?

**The Cooler Twin**

hold on is that even legal

**ddeonu**

i’m OLDER than sungcheol

**The Cooler Twin**

you’re what

**ddeonu**

older than sungcheol

istg people look at him and go oH hE’s tAlL hE mUsT bE oLdEr

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

i wouldn’t make a joke like that if i couldn’t carry through with the threat

**Jungwon**

Are you implying you’d kiss Sunoo

**hey_its_jay**

thats gay

**ddeonu**

i’m gay

**twinkie**

hi gay, i’m heeseung.

**Jungwon**

You’re also gay??

**twinkie**

i prefer the term _actually has a personality unlike white gays who simply steal black culture_

**hey_its_jay**

huh

**twinkie**

it’s very real and very important.

they don’t even dress that well.

**Jungwon**

Can we please save this discussion for somewhere else

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

go on

i’m interested

**twinkie**

unfortunately i have apush work

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

smell y’all later

**eduardo**

eduardo

\- - -

**#science**

bill nye the science guy

**Yoongles Man**  
@ **tree**

Kyungmin were we supposed to have these questions done

fuck

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

petroleum

**tree**

they were just guidance

**Yoongles Man**

?

**tree**

i think idk  
  


**teriyaki**

@ **Yoongles Man** we were, it's worth four points.

**tree**

there was no due date on it lol

**Yoongles Man**

THEN EXPLAIN WHY I HAVE A ZERO

**tree**

uh

**Yoongles Man**

shit

my mom’s gonna kill me

\- - -

**#socializing**

bc y’all spammed the general chat too much

**seonxxs**

oh, we talk here?

**twinkie**

yep

seon, right?

**seonxxs**

yea

**hohoho**

whoa, he speaks! in other than keyboard smash?!

**seonxxs**

jfksifsifjsj

**twinkie**

oh my god you jinxed it

**hohoho**

my pleasure

**twinkie**

no

**hohoho**

i have been rejected

my life has no meaning

crippling depression strikes like a cobra cosplaying as a hippo

ignore that analogy

**seonxxs**

ok that one was kind of funny

**hohoho**

will i ever be good enough for you?

**seonxxs**

_grabs you by the waist_

_pins you against the wall_

_stares into your eyes_

darling, you’ve always been enough for me

**hohoho**

_in a dramatic whisper_

we can’t, seon

not here

not now

**seonxxs**

screw the others and what they think!

i love you, goddammit

**hohoho**

i-

let me go

**seonxxs**

please, i love you

**hohoho**

i can’t

**twinkie**

childhood friends to lovers, angst, internalized homophobia, coming of age, 40k, seven chapters, incomplete

**hohoho**

INXOMPLETE???

  
  


**seonxxs**

i only read incomplete and orphaned ffs

**twinkie**

oh my god

who hurt you

**jaebeom**

i assure you

he’s always like this

i’ve told him to join the drama department like twelve different times 

**seonxxs**

i refuse to be ordered around like a puppet on a string

**Sunghoon**

Are you guys okay?

**jaebeom**

for the last time, it’s not LIKE that

we listen to what everyone has to say

**seonxxs**

oshkwdkakeo

**hohoho**

@ **Sunghoon** don’t worry about it, you get accustomed to it after a while

**twinkie**

hold on hold on

*points at the three of you*

jaeho, jaebeom, seon

what the hell

**jaebeom**

sweetheart, if you want to join us, you can just ask

no need to point fingers

**twinkie**

_laughs nervously_

\- - -

**#sophomores🔒**

the cool grade

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

i have seen the future, and it is bright

**Jungwon**

Don’t you _dare_ try that when we become seniors

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

I’M NOT

GONNA STOP

**ddeonu**

was that high school musical-

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

BET ON IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to bxbaholic for commenting and kick starting my brain!! i love you <3
> 
> and to everyone who’s been reading and commenting: YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND HAVE A GOOD DAY


	5. barbecue sauce on my spaghet (no touchy touchy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was working on my fic and then realized how CONFUSING everything was sorry, let me know if you need a cheat guide to everyone's name
> 
> tw // homophobia, mentions of assault

**#general**

do you guys ever shut up?

**jaebeom**

fuck you my child is completely fine

…

your child just listened to driver’s license twelve times in a row

**ddeonu**

i worry for you sometimes

**jaebeom**

don’t worry

i am definitely doing

**Sunghoon**

I think you need to reevaluate your life if even _Sunoo_ is scared for you, Jaebeom.

**jaebeom**

aye

that’s kinda smart

**twinkie**

can confirm. sunghoon brain.

**jaebeom**

who are you again

**Sunghoon**

Park Sunghoon. Junior.

**jaebeom**

oh hey you’re in gsa!

cool cool

**Sunghoon**

Ah, yes. I am participating in GSA, although I joined towards the end of last year, when we had shifted full remote.

**ddeonu**

sunghoon loosen up this isn’t a damn job interview

**jaebeom**

no no it’s chill

i want everyone to feel comfortable here yknow

**Jungwon**

Sunoo make Jaebeom server admin challenge

**ddeonu**

sunoo server mute jungwon for the third time this week challenge

**Jungwon**

dud e

**twinkie**

do it.

\- - -

**#english**

gays, commies, and 2-for-1 package deals

**The Cooler Twin**

ayo sophomore class besties what did y’all do that was nice yesterday

**Jungwon**

I blessed plebeians with my existence

**The Cooler Twin**

yeah sure i’ll use that with the teacher that takes points off for not using full sentences while note taking uh huh that’s gonna go over spectacularly

**Jungwon**

Lol imagine getting stuck with mrs. powell

**The Cooler Twin**

ugh

does anyone else have actually helpful suggestions

**seonxxs**

say you made them dinner

it works every time

except people start copying you

**hohoho**

can confirm

he invited me over for dinner on sundays

for three weeks in a row i had spaghetti with red sauce on sundays

**seonxxs**

excuse you

i also made carbonara 

**hohoho**

that literally doesn’t count it’s just spaghetti in a different format

**seonxxs**

Carbonara

Carbonara is a suitable choice of sauce served with any type of[ **pasta** ](http://ourvac.blogspot.com/search/label/Culinary). This creamy sauce made from olive oil, processed meat, garlic, egg, cream, and parmesan cheese. Because it is made from eggs and cheese, carbonara sauce per serving in fat and sodium is quite high, around 32 grams and 1500 mg.

Bolognese

Sauce originating from Bologna , Italy is known as ragu'alla bolognese . Bolognese generally ' paired' with spaghetti, fettucini, and pappardelle. Red sauce is made from tomato puree, olive oil, onion, celery, carrots, and additional ground beef. Bolognese sauce also added a few pieces of bacon, red wine, and beef broth.

**hohoho**

did you just

**seonxxs**

yes i fucking did because you can’t even tell the difference between red sauce and bolognese

**hohoho**

sir this is a wendy’s drive thru

**seonxxs**

**come into my house and disrespect my spaghetti one more time**

**hohoho**

free food is free food

**jaebeom**

can confirm

jaeho is the garbage disposal man

**hohoho**

i have standards stfu

**jaebeom**

you dated (edited)

**hohoho**

SHUT THE FUCK UP WE SAID WE WERENT GONNA TRALK ABOUT HIM

**jaebeom**

_giggles_

**hohoho**

i should have never introduced you to loona

**Jungwon**

Lol I made dinner too tho

**jaebeom**

for who

**Jungwon**

My parents and grandmother

**The Cooler Twin**

nice

was it edible

**Yoongles Man**

taeyong tf are u asking

**Jungwon**

Yea ikr

i mean i did

@ **twinkie**

was it edible

**twinkie**

jungwon i wasn’t even home for dinner

**tree**

technically everything is edible

**Jungwon**

Well

Not plastic

**tree**

just depends on the amount of times you can eat it

**hohoho**

kyungmin has a point 

**twinkie**

i mean it is

**Jungwon**

But it doesn't break down

So not rlly

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

its like the well known rule

**twinkie**

you can still eat it though

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

"everything is a dildo if youre brave enough"

-abraham lincoln

**twinkie**

yooooo

**The Cooler Twin**

LMAOO

\- - -

**#seniors** **🔒**

fly high old folks

**seonxxs**

these kids aren’t that bad

**jaebeom**

of course they aren’t

i practically raised the sophomore class

**hohoho**

they’re funnier than you

**jaebeom**

i said i was sorry smh

didn’t realize kyungho was such a sore topic

**hohoho**

i don’t want to hear that man’s name ever again oh my god

**jaebeom**

noted

**seonxxs**

kyungho?

**hohoho**

bruh

**seonxxs**

firejagfepr

**hohoho**

i thought that actually meant something

**jaebeom**

fucking incels read enthusiastically jaguar

**seonxxs**

you said you didn’t want to hear his name

you didn’t say anything about seeing

**hohoho**

i can’t even be heartbroken in peace goddamn

**seonxxs**

think of it this way

you dated someone famous

**hohoho**

that doesn’t help??? 

i don’t wanna be that one uncle who’s like hey kids guess what when i was your age i dated a kpop star

**seonxxs**

he’s a kpop idol????

**hohoho**

do you think he went back to korea to join masterchef junior or some shit

**seonxxs**

knowing him he probably would

**jaebeom**

NEXT CLASS IS STARTING WHORES GET INTO PHYSIOLOGY I CAN’T COVER FOR YOUR SORRY ASSES AGAIN

**seonxxs**

fuck

\- - -

**#general**

**twinkie**

5

**teriyaki**

4

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

3

**ddeonu**

3

**seonxxs**

2

**twinkie**

FREEDOM

**tree**

more like three hours of homework

**twinkie**

hey who are you again

**tree**

kyungmin

**twinkie**

kyungmin i’m sure you’re a lovely person

but please

let us enjoy freedom

**tree**

ok

\- - -

**#juniors** **🔒**

swagmasters 1 and 2 (and sunghoon, i guess)

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Hey guys

**hey_its_jay**

AYE

**eeeeeeeeejay**

AYE

**hey_its_jay**

there are TWO jays now

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Yeah but bro

**hey_its_jay**

yeah bro?

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Ur cool

**hey_its_jay**

bro ur cooler

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Bro

**hey_its_jay**

_bro_

**eeeeeeeeejay**

b-bro?

**hey_its_jay**

bro

  
  


**hey_its_jay**

you gotta meet taki bro

hes so chill

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Bro i like him already

**hey_its_jay**

yeah bro

**Sunghoon**

Go do your homework, bros.

**hey_its_jay**

hey sunghoon

**Sunghoon**

Yes?

**hey_its_jay**

friendly suggestion

never use the word bro again

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Agreed

\- - -

**#sports-and-stuff**

yoonwon created this don’t ask sunoo bc sunoo doesn’t know

**Yoongles Man**

anybody wanna play basketball tonight

somebody decided not to show up cough cough

**The Cooler Twin**

yoonwon i literally can’t play tonight yearbook is in shambles rn

**teriyaki**

is yearbook club hard?

**The Cooler Twin**

is the sky blue?

**Yoongles Man**

dude you’re literally just making glorified collages

**The Cooler Twin**

just because you quit last year because you decided that your basketball team buddies were better than us nerds with cameras and shitty layouts

**Yoongles Man**

and maybe they are, taeyong!

just because you’re always trying to compete with taewon doesn’t mean you have to copy everything he does

**The Cooler Twin**

shut up yoonwon you don’t understand

you have a perfect family or whatever we fucking get it

**Yoongles Man**

you’re always brushing me off like my opinion doesn’t matter

**The Cooler Twin**

yearbook is the ONE thing i had going for me

**Yoongles Man**

not everything is about competing with your brother!

**The Cooler Twin**

you know what, yoonwon?

i’m under a lot of stress right now and i’m sorry i can’t always be with you because i have prior commitments!

and i get that it feels like i’m not always there, but you have your own interests!

your “basketball buddies” probably would hang out

**Yoongles Man**

yeah they would

but i want to spend more time with you

you’re always coming up with excuses

**The Cooler Twin**

maybe because it’s not the same as before

you’re always walking on eggshells around me

**Yoongles Man**

you can tell me if i act weird

**The Cooler Twin**

i came out to you and your first reaction was “oh i don’t swing that way”

**Yoongles Man**

it was uncomfortable, okay?!

you know i was raised in church and i don’t believe that homosexuals are bad people, but it’s weird

**The Cooler Twin**

_homosexuals?_

is that all i am to you?

the fucking gay guy in the locker room?

better go cover up your crotch, i might try and assault you

**Yoongles Man**

MAYBE YOU WOULD

because clearly i don’t know my best friend like i thought i did

**Jungwon**

Guys what the fuck is going on

**The Cooler Twin**

i don’t fucking know, maybe ask yoonwon, who’s scared i’m gonna come onto him

**Jungwon**

Hold on

\- - -

**bunwonnie**

Sunoo could you lock down sports

Keep people from talking and also prevent other members of the server from seeing what just happened

**ddeonu**

fuck

i knew something like this was going to happen

**bunwonnie**

It’s not your fault

**ddeonu**

i should’ve known

\- - -

**aron**

i’m sorry

**taeyong**

save your fucking breath

**aron**

i’m sorry, taeyong

i really hurt you

_seen_

**aron**

just

sorry

\- - -

**#math**

imagine liking this subject *gags*

**hey_its_jay**

does anyone have answers to the 1.4 worksheet?

**Sunghoon**

Yes. Here.

**Park_Sunghooon_4.1_wrk.pdf**

**hey_its_jay**

thanks

**Park Sunghoon**

No problem.

\- - -

**aron**

i fucked up

**jungwon**

Yup

but to be fair, both of you fucked up

**aron**

got any advice?

**jungwon**

Give taeyong space

He’ll reach out when he needs to

you guys have always been so alike

**aron**

yeah

**jungwon**

I mean, what would you do in his position?

**aron**

i don’t know

probably for anyone else i’d advise him to cut the person off

taeyong’s always been too empathetic for his own good

**jungwon**

Well

No changing the past

**aron**

yeah

**jungwon**

You’re a good person, Yoonwon

**aron**

don’t feel so great and holy right about now

**jungwon**

Everyone fucks up

Good people acknowledge their messes and clean it up

**aron**

thanks, i just imagined myself on a pine-sol bottle

**jungwon**

aron: now 30% more in a can!

\- - -

**#world-language**

hon hon hon si carpe diem 你好 phlegm noises

**tree**

people with sanchez what was the homework

**teriyaki**

sorry kyungmin i take french

**tree**

does anyone take spanish 1?

**teriyaki**

maybe yoonwon?

**tree**

@ **Yoonwon**

hello

are you alive

ayo

pspspspsppsps

**_tree_** _has changed their status: burning all romance languages_

**tree**

LETSGO NO SPANISH HOMEWORK

\- - -

**#seniors** **🔒**

this isn’t like high school musical at all

**jaebeom**

sunoo just asked me what to do

**seon**

is this about what happened with yoonwon and taeyong earlier today

**jaebeom**

yeah

i don’t know how we can help them

i’m not familiar with either of them

**seon**

man

**jaebeom**

what’s the point of being the almighty omnipotent senior if you can’t sort out everyone else’s problems?

**hohoho**

character development

they’re in, like, the second story arc

**jaebeom**

still sucks to see them struggling

**seonxxs**

you’re too nice

**jaebeom**

thanks seon

**seonxxs**

they’re big boys

they can figure it out

**jaebeom**

yeah. i hope so.

**hohoho**

it’s almost the weekend

we can watch titanic again

**seonxxs**

catch me if you can is the superior dicaprio movie

**hohoho**

yeah but james cameron

**jaebeom**

what about gone with the wind?

**hohoho**

i hate every character

**seonxxs**

hell no

i’m trying to destress, not watch a bunch of racist white southerners act spoiled

**jaebeom**

notebook?

**hohoho**

i mean, if we have to

**seonxxs**

your name?

**jaebeom**

oh, yes

**hohoho**

should we invite heeseung?

**jaebeom**

he’s gonna be at geonu’s

**seonxxs**

how do _you_ know?

**jaebeom**

believe me, i know

**hohoho**

kimi no nawa it is <333

**jaebeom**

you’re just trying to make me cry, huh

**hohoho**

oh, come on

seon always cries the hardest

**seonxxs**

shut up, jaeho

**hohoho**

love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell the seniors are my favorite to write?
> 
> question of the week: would you forgive yoonwon or cut him off?
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated! thank you guys for reading!


	6. never gonna give you up (never gonna let you down)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not proofread we die
> 
> today’s chapter is dedicated to yeowangg because they promised to comment on every chapter and if there is anything i love more than onelook thesaurus dictionary it is validation

**#general**

*saxophone noises*

**echan**

hey guys

your boy just legally changed his name!

**hohoho**

your mom finally agreed?

**echan**

yep <3

only took like three years of nonstop begging but my grandma finally got her to agree

**ddeonu**

AHHHH NO WAY

CONGRATULATIONS

**echan**

thank you ddeonu 🙂

*🙂

*🙂

*🙂

**😀**

how do i stop automatic emojis

**seonxxs**

they never stop

**hohoho**

just like the pain </3

**seonxxs**

stfu jaeho i’ll eat your knees or some shit

**hohoho**

kinky

**tree**

(am i allowed to ship this)

**echan**

(yes)

**tree**

(cool)

**hohoho**

_no_

**ddeonu**

we’ve recruited another

\- - -

**ddeonu**

kyungmin, do you super solemnly pinky swear to forever keep a secret?

**EXO_squirrel**

um

if it’s legal

if the recruitment is for a cult that murders people probably not?

**echan**

don’t worry, kid

we haven’t had to kill anyone since the summer of ‘16

**ddeonu**

oh, come on

you’re scaring him, echan

**echan**

so- _rry_

**ddeonu**

although i will say the golf instructor was a necessary casualty

**echan**

yeah

still feel bad about hitting him in the nuts with my club

**ddeonu**

i think he forgave you

**echan**

are you joking? i had to call him jung-sabom for the rest of camp

**ddeonu**

a small price to pay

and his nuts are fine

**echan**

true

**ddeonu**

he has two kids now

my sister babysat for them like last saturday

i think she loves them more than me 

ಥ_ಥ

**echan**

don’t worry ddeonu

i’ll always love you

**ddeonu**

<3

**echan**

<33

**EXO_squirrel**

um?

**ddeonu**

oops 

sorry kyungmin

like we were saying…

**echan**

can you keep a secret?

**EXO_squirrel**

yes

**ddeonu**

do you hate licorice?

**EXO_squirrel**

well, i don’t like black licorice, but i think twizzlers are pretty good

**echan**

ehhh

gray area

**ddeonu**

do you know a full musical?

**EXO_squirrel**

does beauty and the beast count?

**echan**

hell yeah it does

you’re in

[ https://discord.gg/p9MXZJeG ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ab_channel=RickAstleyVEVO)

**EXO_squirrel**

ooh, a link!

**ddeonu**

welcome

**EXO_squirrel**

wait

this isn’t, like

a troll thing

right?

**echan**

no

**ddeonu**

if i was trying to troll someone i would have just sent sixty seconds of taco bell bongs

**echan**

never listen to that with headphones in btw you’ll end up deaf

\- - -

**operation seonho**

**#our-purpose**

to get jaeho and seon together

because they’ve been flirting with each other for seven years 

and echan is sick of third wheeling

\- - -

**#fiendish-plotting**

*a singular boohbah baby rises ominously in the distance*

**tree**

this exists?

**echan**

yes❤️ 

**ddeonu**

seonho nation RISE

**echan**

so i was thinking

you know the play

**ddeonu**

wait, they’re still doing that?

**echan**

what can we say

bang pd is one persuasive guy

**ddeonu**

wow

i guess i have to audition

**echan**

but jaeho is always on crew

like a l w a y s

**ddeonu**

oh, so you’re

**echan**

and then

**ddeonu**

backstage

**echan**

yeah, so we

**ddeonu**

that’s so smart wtf

**echan**

thank you

i try

**tree**

wha

**echan**

oh, sorry kyungmin

basically we

**ddeonu**

and

**echan**

then

**ddeonu**

happily ever after!

**tree**

ohhhhhhh

yeah i still don’t get it

**echan**

that’s okay

**ddeonu**

you’ll get it eventually

**seonxxs**

aye stupids i’m still in here

**ddeonu**

fuck

**echan**

don’t worry guys i just kicked him

i think

**seonxxs**

you didn’t

**echan**

how do i discord

**seonxxs**

you don’t

boomer looking headass

**echan**

hEY

**seonxxs**

don’t worry i’ll save you some pain and just leave

\- - -

**#goodbye-goobers**

why are you leaving this server you coward. huh. huh.

**the-seonho-bot**

goodbye **seonxxs**! we’re sorry to see you leave :(

\- - -

**#eleventeentherz** **🔒**

because juniors is boring

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Remember bois 😬😬 if she born on her birthday 🎂 dont trust that mf 😓😓

**hey_its_jay**

bruh thats true asf

**Sunghoon**

You guys are awful.

**eeeeeeeeejay**

My mom always said I was special

**Sunghoon**

You’re certainly unique.

\- - -

**#social-studies**

united states canada mexico panama haiti jamaica peru

**ddeonu**

**@sophomores**

which one of y’all is gonna give me the answers to the worksheet on the war of 1812 and become my best friend for the rest of life

**taeyong**

friendship is stupid

**ddeonu**

damn

you need a hug

**taeyong**

maybe later

**war_of_1812.jpg**

**ddeonu**

thanks

**taeyong**

yeah np

\- - -

**geonu (crush)**

**heeseung**

hi

**geonu**

hi.

**heeseung**

how was the family hike?

**geonu**

god awful.

i suffered through eleven years of gym only to have a bunch of exercise fanatics as siblings.

**heeseung**

aw, but daniel’s cute

**geonu**

i can’t believe he’s a freshman already.

**heeseung**

you’re a senior yourself

**geonu**

shhhh.

i’m not perceiving time right now.

**heeseung**

can i not perceive time with you?

**geonu**

lee heeseung.

was that flirting?

**heeseung**

maybe

**geonu**

when everything is over, i’ll kiss you.

**heeseung**

oh

**geonu**

or punch you.

idk.

jury’s still out on that one.

**heeseung**

it would be an honor to be punched by you

**geonu**

you’re terrible.

**heeseung**

i’m sorry

**geonu**

i just screamed into my pillow.

**heeseung**

please um

stay alive

that’s ideal

**geonu**

are you going to send pictures of cute baby animals next.

huh.

are you trying to kill me, heeseung?

**heeseung**

...no?

at least i don’t think i am

**geonu**

okay.

that’s a relief.

**heeseung**

yah

haha

**geonu**

gtg eat dinner sorry.

bye.

**heeseung**

bye

\- - -

**heeseung**

help

**attached: 3 files**

**Sunghoon**

Heeseung, you’re hopeless.

**heeseung**

i knowwwwwwww

**Sunghoon**

“please um

stay alive

that’s ideal”

\- Lee Heeseung’s Super Smooth Pickup Lines, Vol. 3

**heeseung**

I PANICKED

HE JUST

HE WAS THERE

**Sunghoon**

If you’re this awful over text, what’ll happen when you meet in person?

Are you even dating?

What’s going on?

**heeseung**

well he invited me over last weekend

**Sunghoon**

He WHAT?!

**heeseung**

i said like

sorry i can’t i have a thing

**Sunghoon**

Oh my god.

**heeseung**

i k n o w

**Sunghoon**

I have no idea what to say to you.

**heeseung**

blfvhgh

\- - -

**#sophomores** **🔒**

guess who’s back. back again.

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

he lives!

**ddeonu**

i wish i didn’t

**taeyong**

whoa whoa whoa hold on what happened

**ddeonu**

literally everything

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

remind me again why you have so many extracurriculars?

**ddeonu**

it’s not the extracurriculars

it’s the damn algebra teacher

**Jungwon**

Wait who do you have

**ddeonu**

pfluger

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

bless you

**ddeonu**

no i have dr pfluger

but with like the two dots over the u

**Jungwon**

Is he german?

**ddeonu**

never asked

**Jungwon**

I think Pflüger is german

**ddeonu**

i dIDnT gO to UniVersItY aND gEt mY DocToRaTeS iN eDuCAtiON fOr yOU tO cAlL mE mIsTer P

**taeyong**

he sounds like a piece of work

**ddeonu**

he is

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

rip

**ddeonu**

fuck in school learning dude 

i’m gonna go online and nobody will ever perceive me again

**taeyong**

that bad?

**ddeonu**

(ฺ◣д◢)ฺ

**taeyong**

ah

worse

**Jungwon**

Have you guys started your essays yet

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

spent the last like five days sleeping and ignoring my problems

so no

**ddeonu**

sungcheol go do your work istg

**taeyong**

oh sunoo could you add jimin

**ddeonu**

the latin teacher or jimin the junior

**taeyong**

the latin teacher’s name is jimin?!

**ddeonu**

uhhuh

he runs gsa and his partner was trying to get him to calm their cat down

apparently she had kittens without them knowing

**taeyong**

_MR. PARK HAS A PARTNER??_

**ddeonu**

well, technically polygamous

**taeyong**

_MR. PARK HAS TWO PARTNERS???_

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

i can’t even get a text back

**Jungwon**

Maybe you’d get a text back if you did your homework

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

yeah from people trying to copy off of me

**Jungwon**

Ha, funny you should mention that

*stabs you*

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

it was like five times

**Jungwon**

Yeah, five times too many

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

wait until national bully sungcheol day

then you can punch me

**Jungwon**

Marking it in my planner

**taeyong**

you have a planner?

**ddeonu**

you don’t?

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

toupée

**Jungwon**

And on that lovely note, goodbye

\- - -

**#sports-and-stuff-part-2**

sunoo still doesn’t know what’s going on

**taeyong**

xc runners, we have a senior-led practice tomorrow

**hohoho**

the poor saps who have to lead the 11 mile run

**taeyong**

jaeho, you’re a senior?

**hohoho**

i am the poor sap

**eeeeeeeeejay**

YEAHHHHH DISTANCE RUNNING

**tree**

good luck with that

**eeeeeeeeejay**

I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO FEEL MY LEGS SINCE MID-AUGUST

**hohoho**

oh, kei’s back in town

he’ll run with us tomorrow

**eeeeeeeeejay**

He always pushes the speed

Pain

\- - -

**#reminders**

because unless you are jungwon or sunghoon you don’t know what the hell is going on

**seonxxs**

seniors, your end-of-year project idea is due by friday

\- - -

**#seniors** **🔒**

**twinkie**

are you kidding me

**seonxxs**

hey

don’t shoot the messenger

**echan**

i didn’t want to be reminded of that

**seonxxs**

like i wanted to

**echan**

you guys have any ideas?

**hohoho**

i might work at the local university lab

they have some new research with bone marrow transplants

and i also want to talk about how the waiting lists for donors is absolutely messed up

**echan**

i was thinking about started up the library storytime program again

but online??

**twinkie**

yeah no

i have nothing

**echan**

we could work together, if you want?

**twinkie**

it’s okay

i’ll figure it out

**seonxxs**

hdtgifkrjarekn

**twinkie**

is seon stress reverting into keyboard smashes

**hohoho**

yeah

he’s listening to his medieval thot bop playlist as well

**seonxxs**

[wench bops](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5MC0CPwRYX7Rw97U80rmsT)

**hohoho**

what?

**seonxxs**

they’re [wench bops](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5MC0CPwRYX7Rw97U80rmsT)

**hohoho**

oh

okay

**echan**

alright kiddos time to go do some stuff

\- - -

**#socializing**

if you say no homo you’re gay.

**Yoongles Man**

sundays suck

**Jungwon**

tell me about it

**Yoongles Man**

actually, most days suck

**hey_its_jay**

I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM MY PAST SELF

WHAT THE HECK

**seonxxs**

tecknoligiy

**hey_its_jay**

update: my past self was annoying

**Sunghoon**

Your _current_ self is annoying.

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Dude why are you dissing my dude

Bro

**hey_its_jay**

ej

bro

i love you bro but this is my battle to fight

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Of course bro

I respect that

**Sunghoon**

Righty-o. I’ll just be leaving.

**hey_its_jay**

wait

come back

\- - -

**#music-and-arts**

for those who like free hundreds

**echan**

dance club has a meeting tonight at seven! freshmen, you’re welcome to come, it’ll most likely be a welcome and a planning out of the year.

**teriyaki**

oh, cool! can i get the meet link?

**echan**

hold on

i’ll just add you to the google classroom

\- - -

**Dear Notes App🔒**

**Password: 416820**

eight days, fourteen hours, and about thirty minutes AF (after fight) 

there’s not much to a life without a best friend.

maybe you should apologize again?

taeyong seems totally fine.

which is good.

he’s probably better off without you.

yeah.

that’s all.

not much has happened otherwise.

there’s one kid on your basketball team who seems pretty cool. you don’t know his name yet.

\- - -

**send anon messages**

does sunghoon like anyone

i barely talk to sunghoon

do you have a crush on ********

lol… no

you left me on delivered again

oh shit sorry

ur cute

um thanks

song recs?

you, clouds, rain - heize

my ex’s best friend - blackbear

skin - sabrina carpenter

yuri on ice ost - not sure but search it up and you’ll find it

let’s fall in love for the night - finneas

eric nam’s entire discography

is it true your brother models??

yeah but you can just talk to him

favorite teacher

anyone but powell

chs or jshs

chs all the way

packers are gonna win the superbowl

dude we’re from cali

did you get into a fight w/ yoonwon

…

gay

you’re gayer

good night, taeyong!

good night sunoo

how did you know that was me

i have a large brain

\- - -

**geonu (crush)**

**geonu**

good night, heeseung!

sleep well

**heeseung**

thanks

you too

:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *swings pendulum at private bookmarkers* ooh you guys wanna comment so bad
> 
> anyways hey besties i wrote way too much because i promised cookie i'd try and update yesterday and then i broke my promise like the unmotivated person i am
> 
> self-imposed deadlines hate them! watch this one idiot procrastinate everything!
> 
> my legs hurt
> 
> question of the week: what’s the best running/workout/hype song you’ve ever come across?


	7. sunghoon, you have: 147 new pings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week's shoutout: gaymoongod for a.) being the sweetest human being to ever walk this earth and b.) having an epic username
> 
> cw // true crime, supernatural, link leading to a clip of an exorcism (do NOT click if you are triggered by this)

**#sunghoon-pinging**

we woke up and chose annoyance

**ddeonu**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**taeyong**

**@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**seonxxs**

friendly tip, spamming the user in a block will only ping them once **@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**taeyong**

oh really? **@Sunghoon**

why?

**seonxxs**

idk

discord is weird like that **@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**twinkie**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

  
  


**hohoho**

therapy is expensive

annoying sunghoon is free

**@Sunghoon**

**ddeonu pinned a message to the chat.**

**tree**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

v

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

v

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon@Sunghoon@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

v

**@Sunghoon@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

\- - -

**aron**

hi

um

sorry

**taeyong**

oh

**aron**

yeah that’s about it

**taeyong**

okay

thanks

\- - -

**#seniors** **🔒**

are procrastinating again bc we’re dumb

**hohoho**

[ achilles 💕 achilles 🍁 achilles 🙄 come 🤷♀️ down 🌡 won’t 🏊♀️ you 🌞 get 🥐 up 🏣 off 👯♀️ get 🎺 up 🍸 off 🚈 the 🌀 roof 🤑 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_V76Dm42bY)

**echan**

recently i am obsessed with jungkook

**hohoho**

understandable have a great day

**seonxxs**

why is there literally nothing good on netflix

**twinkie**

facts

'm watching buzzfeed unsolved

**seonxxs**

i am eating crackers and starinf at a wall for entertainment

**twinkie**

it’s crazy to see the skeptics.

i’m dying of fear watching the demons during anneliese michel but everyone in the comments is like “well yes but science proves she’s obviously suffering from several mental illnesses and also knows latin because she was catholic” 

since when are teaching you thirteen year old german girls latin? 

tf??

**echan**

that episode is TERRIFYING but also i trust the skeptics

thank you shane and the skeptics for making me less scared of things

**twinkie**

true crime is less scary for me.

**echan**

i’ve never actually watched a full episode of true crime

it makes me paranoid

**twinkie**

[ **[attached audio file]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4xiT67GrbY)

**echan**

WHAT THE FUCK

**twinkie**

I WAS LITERALLT THIS CLOSE TO LEAVING AND THEN PEOPLE WERE ALL “it’s just a funny voice lol pog”

**seonxxs**

they’re not wrong though

i can go wake up my sister at two am and she’ll sound like that

**hohoho**

little annie: grr

us: D E M O N I C P O S S E S S I O N

**twinkie**

I BELIEVE IN THE FUCKING DEMONS

**echan**

i’ll go find a nice soft drama to watch

**seonxxs**

the real question is why you believe in the demons

**twinkie**

actually that’s a good question.

uh.

i guess like religious shit?

**hohoho**

well, i think the demon only has the power you give to it

it’s like you can’t really hurt something if they don’t believe you’re there

**seonxxs**

when everybody during hide and seek closes their eyes and screams “YOU CAN’T SEE ME, BITCH”

**echan**

seon

i’m worried for you

**seonxxs**

i’m worried for me, too

**twinkie**

us christians are a weird bunch

**seonxxs**

you know what y’all make shit interesting

i could do without the homophobia but you know

chill

**twinkie**

“if bible say judgment of others bad multiple times... but the torah says no gay... gay must be hell spawn yes? god give us a sign if we’re right.”

*god: sends down jesus who literally hangs out with all sorts of sinners and preaches about spreading love*

“did you see something, tina? ah, damn. me neither. hate gays.”

**echan**

heeseung??

**twinkie**

when you’re a radical gay leftist but your church prayed for the health of donald trump when he had covid: oof

**echan**

oof indeed

**twinkie**

i am the weak link 😔😔

**seonxxs**

i go away for two seconds to grab my saltine tin

where did the demon convo go

**echan**

the reason true crime is scarier for me is because there’s proof it’s real

like oh this happened?

this real?

haha 

*dives headfirst into the void*

**twinkie**

i fear the unknown

**seonxxs**

tone down the deep buddy i don’t want to finish my apple juice too soon

**twinkie**

what do you think death is like?

**seonxxs**

what did i just say

**hohoho**

penis

**echan**

NO

\- - -

**#sunghoon-pinging**

**bark**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

notice me senpai

**Park Sunghoon**

What in hell?

**ddeonu**

ah, we only got a a hundred messages

spam harder

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

**@Sunghoon**

\- - -

**#world-language**

speech 100

**hohoho**

i want raviolii

soruy there coulda ben context

**seonxxs**

jaeho get back here you’re drunk

**hohoho**

drunk on

~lurve~

**seonxxs**

fuck you

**hohoho**

sorry i’m saving myself for marriage

\- - -

**#welcome**

to the black parade

**Daniel_Lee** hopped into the server.

**ddeonu**

A NEW MEMBER??

**Yoongles Man**

yeah, he’s on my basketball team! he’s also a freshman.

i hope you don’t mind.

**ddeonu**

now, why would i mind?

welcome daniel! i hope you like it here.

**Daniel_Lee**

could you change my name to just daniel?

**ddeonu**

could i? 

indeed!

**daniel**

thank you!

\- - -

**ddeonu**

s u n g h o o n

**Sunghoon**

Oh no.

**ddeonu**

HE’S SO CUTE URGHHH I LOVE FRESHMEN

**Sunghoon**

This is exactly why Geonu didn’t want Daniel to get Discord.

\- - -

  
  


**#introduction-and-roles**

introduce yourself <33 you have nothing to lose except your identity (︢⓪ ᴗ ︢⓪✿)

**daniel**

hi everyone! 

i’m daniel lee, geonu’s my older brother

i’m in ninth grade and i’m fourteen

my pronouns are he/him

and i play basketball and do hockey as my main sport

i know a few of you guys from church as well

so um thanks for adding me to the server and i hope we all have a good time!

\- - -

**Sunghoon**

Hoe, don’t do it.

**ddeonu**

i’m going to adopt daniel

**Sunghoon**

Oh my god.

\- - -

**#welcome**

to the black parade

You made it! **@tacobellnoises**

**tacobellnoises**

who invited daniel in here.

**ddeonu**

I DIDN’T DO IT THIS TIME

**tacobellnoises**

let me say this again.

who

the 

fuck

invited

daniel

**@everyone**

i’m not leaving until i get answers.

**Sunghoon**

Who would’ve thought?

Geonu’s weakness is his younger brother.

**tacobellnoises**

shut up sunghoon being snobby won’t save you when i go door to door with a meat cleaver.

**daniel**

wait geonu don’t hurt anyone! somebody gave me an invite and they said i could join!

**Sunghoon**

The real question is who snitched.

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

_stares seggsily at heeseung_

**tacobellnoises**

ah.

could we

not?

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

ohyeahhahasorrypleasedonteatmeihaveawifeandkids

**tacobellnoises**

i guess i’m stuck here until somebody explains.

**ddeonu**

it’s okay geonu

you can say you love us

**tacobellnoises**

no.

\- - -

**#freshmen** **🔒**

every day we wake up and regret it

**tree**

yee fucking haw

**daniel**

haw fucking yee

**Yoongles Man**

yurt

**tree**

whoa, daniel, you swear?

**daniel**

yeah

a lot

**tree**

who would’ve thunk

**daniel**

i have no idea why everyone looks at me like a big baby

**tree**

because you are~~

so lovable~~~

**daniel**

oh come on! not you too!

\- - -

**geonu (uh?)**

**heeseung**

i just saw something that said people work because they agree on the big things but disagree on the small

**geonu**

oh, that’s why you give me all your twizzlers.

**heeseung**

only the best for you

:)

**geonu**

fuck, what candy do you like? 

i should know this.

**heeseung**

i’m not a big candy guy

you’re sweet enough for me

**geonu**

lee heeseung, mark my words.

i would marry you in vegas in a streetside chapel with only an elvis impersonator as the witness.

**heeseung**

oh

are we dating now

**geonu**

no, because i’m scared of commitment in the short term.

**heeseung**

and i respect that 100%

but i’ll give you my twirlers (with love)

TWIZZLERS

why did autocorrect do me like that

**geonu**

they thought it was funny, i guess.

i will happily accept your twirlers (with love) and offer whatever you’d like in return.

**heeseung**

just being able to talk to you is enough

\- - -

**#winnie-the-pooh-mores** **🔒**

ewwwww testing week

**taeyong**

man why did today not feel like a saturday

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

it didn’t

**ddeonu**

i don’t wanna go back to school ever

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

felt

**Jungwon**

This year is kinda really disappointing

**taeyong**

ugh

tell me about it

first i get an d+ on the first bio test

then i overschedule myself and get sick

and i fight with my best friend

so he replaces me

plus i can’t even hate the replacement because it’s fucking daniel lee

have you met that kid

nobody can hate him

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

i think you need a good old fashioned scream fest

**ddeonu**

worry not, taeyong

‘tis character development

**Jungwon**

At the very least, you got rid of that awful username

**ddeonu**

(dude)

**Jungwon**

What?

We were all thinking it

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

can confirm

**ddeonu**

_sungcheol_

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

what?!

\- - - 

**ddeonu**

so i was hanging off my bed upside down and i just slid and hit my head

**Sunghoon**

And this is my problem because?

**ddeonu**

oh, nothing

(◕▽◕✿)

just though you’d appreciate a life update

**Sunghoon**

Okay, Sunoo.

Did you finish your Algebra homework yet?

**ddeonu**

look at me in the eyes and repeat that

sunghoon

it’s SATURDAY

there’s no way you

you did

oh my god

i’m gonna kill you

**Sunghoon**

I will refrain from commenting.

\- - -

**#world-language**

seonho are being greasy in here

**hohoho**

if i give you faces

will you tell me what they mean

**seonxxs**

i hate you

**hohoho**

but will you tell me

**seonxxs**

yes

**hohoho**

yayyyyyy

*wiggles around like a gleeful slug*

ㅇㅅㅇ

**seonxxs**

ngsng

**hohoho**

ㅎㅈㅎ

**seonxxs**

hjh

**hohoho**

ㅁㅊㅁ

**seonxxs**

mchm

**hohoho**

i like your funny words, magic man

\- - -

**#basketball-bros**

**bark**

what’s up my guys

**Yoongles Man**

hi youngbin

**bark**

been conditioning on the weekends?

**ddeonu**

haha

no

**bark**

alright, then

**daniel**

what are he/him lesbians?

**bark**

what?

**daniel**

somebody on twitter just requested to follow me

but they said don’t interact if you don’t support he/him lesbians

**bark**

i thought you were american

**Yoongles Man**

you use twitter?

**daniel**

fancy

youuuuuuuuuuu

**bark**

personally i’ve always been an wonder girls fan

**ddeonu**

i want

nobody

nobody but you

i want nobody 

nobody but you

**bark**

also he/him lesbians are i guess female at birth who use he/him pronouns?

which i am all for

fuck gendered pronouns

**ddeonu**

wait, seriously?

**bark**

did you think i was homophobic??

**ddeonu**

i mean

yeah

**bark**

alright

that’s fair

although rather upsetting

**daniel**

thank you for the info!

**bark**

no problem

now actually go on a run this weekend

**ddeonu**

aaaaand you lost me

**bark**

i tried

\- - -

**#general**

man it’s just general idk what to tell you

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

hey bro can i get a sip of that water

**hey_its_jay**

its not water

**eeeeeeeeejay**

Vodka

I like ur style

**hey_its_jay**

its vinegar

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

what

**hey_its_jay**

its vinegar, pussy

**Jungwon**

/warn @ **hey_its_jay**

\- - -

**Turtle-Bot**

You have been given one strike for foul language.

**hey_its_jay**

bro

bro how could you

\- - -

**hey_its_jay**

yang jungwon i trusted you

**Jungwon**

You swore

There are children in that chat

**hey_its_jay**

i cant believe the vine slander

my talents are wasted upon you mongrels

**Jungwon**

Nice vocab word

**hey_its_jay**

i can use words without having them be sat vocab

**Jungwon**

So you admit to having sat vocab

**hey_its_jay**

_i cant win_

\- - -

**#world-languages**

are seonho still flirting in here?

**hohoho**

ㅎㄹㅎ

**seonxxs**

hrh

**hohoho**

ㅂㅈㅂ

**seonxxs**

bjb

**hohoho**

**ㅇ ㅡ ㅇ**

**seonxxs**

ngung

are you done yet

**hohoho**

one more

ㅑㅇ ㅗ ㅇㅕ

**seonxxs**

uh

hold on

yan...oyeo??

nvmind i'm stupid

yangongyeo

**hohoho**

yuor not stupid

stop being mean

barglh

i wish i went to korean school

**seonxxs**

no you fucking don’t

\- - -

**echan**

*dabs*

**ddeonu**

*honks my tiny horn while pedaling away on a tricycle*

**echan**

*cheerfully murders your grandma*

**ddeonu**

*pedals back frantically, then remembers both of my grandmothers are dead*

**echan**

*nods, because i killed them*

**ddeonu**

*calls the weed*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> never fear! daniel's here!
> 
> thank you all for reading somebody give me a discussion question and please do not ask me if i am currently stable because the answer is a resounding no
> 
> can you tell i marathoned buzzfeed unsolved?
> 
> actually somebody tell me in the comments what the love languages for these ships are because i feel like i've given them love languages
> 
> edit: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEONU
> 
> go follow him on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/geonu___)


	8. oops i fried my motherboard (and other gay shenanigans)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello welcome back to this hell of a mess

**#general**

oops i just dropped my last brain cell

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

is it possible to get a cramp in your buttcheek

asking for a friend

**hohoho**

i’ve heard of twisting your hamstring

but

uh

buttcheek cramp is definitely a new one

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

i’m a trendsetter

\- - -

**sophomores🔒**

fumdb fucks

**ddeonu**

i keep falling in love with people that’ll never love me back

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

ouch

**taeyong**

felt

**Jungwon**

Are any of you okay?

**ddeonu**

should we list all our crushes

**Jungwon**

No??

**ddeonu**

oh hush jungwon we all know you liked daniel

**Jungwon**

He’s like a brother to me wtf

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

sunoo???? wrong about a match???

ohoho

how the turntables

**ddeonu**

then what was the whole tripping in front of him and almost dying

**Jungwon**

That was one time

I tripped on a connecting cable I knocked over the projector

Also if you must know I had a crush on Jay

**ddeonu**

oh honey

oh honey i am so sorry

**Jungwon**

IT WAS EIGHTH GRADE OKAY

**ddeonu**

o o f

**taeyong**

i had my gay awakening in eighth grade

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

that is so cool

imagine knowing your sexuality

**taeyong**

you know in another universe we’re all probably straight

and hate each other’s guts

**ddeonu**

well i think my guts are very nice thank you very much

**taeyong**

what?

**ddeonu**

y’know

cause they protect my squishy bits

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

that’s what he said

**ddeonu**

GODDAMIT SUNGCHEOL

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THAT

**taeyong**

my crushes

dean winchester from supernatural

henry golding

g-dragon

h*nry danger

youngbin

...heeseung

yoonwon

the guy in the taylor swift willow music video

**Jungwon**

You forgot one

**taeyong**

i’m not fucking saying that one

**Jungwon**

it’s the fish from that fish movie

you know

the will smith

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

you had a crush on oscar the fish from shark tale?

**taeyong**

JUNGWON HAD A CRUSH ON THE PURPLE ONE FROM BARBIE PRINCESS CHARM SCHOOL

**Jungwon**

At least she was HUMAN

**ddeonu**

i can’t believe you collectively glossed over the fact that taeyong had a crush on yoonwon

**taeyong**

past tense had

**ddeonu**

yeah and i had a crush on zendaya but if she told me she admired me i’d probably propose to her on the spot

**Jungwon**

That is a very specific scenario that I do not want to imagine

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

whatever helps you sleep at night my guy

**ddeonu**

stfu everyone list their crushes i am not going to let my mans taeyong suffer in silence

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

crush list

iu

keshi

heeseung

fang from the maximum ride series

gerard way

robert downey jr.

seon

roxanne from the goofy movie

sabrina carpenter

vanessa hudgens

justin trudeau

michael b jordan

keith from the try guys

kurt cobain

james dean

park bogum

tom holland

zendaya

kim possible

zac efron

johnny depp

rihanna

prince naveen

sunoo

ukulele girl that was on america’s got talent

li shang

mulan

**taeyong**

every one of those names hit like a punch to the face

**Jungwon**

So we’re not gonna talk about the Sunoo

**taeyong**

so we’re not gonna talk about the KEITH from TRY GUYS??

**ddeonu**

sungcheol

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

yes?

**ddeonu**

there is a thing called too much honesty

and you guys are getting riled up over keith but i am questioning why you were attracted to an animated dog

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

i think god lives in fear of what they created

**ddeonu**

heeseung

echan

sunghoon

that one guy at the boba shop who had floppy hair and apologized for getting my order wrong

zendaya

the girl at the same boba shop who was behind me in line and had a nice smile

also conan gray

**taeyong**

sungcheol crying rn

**ddeonu**

sungcheol there is someone out there for you

**Jungwon**

The purple girl from barbie princess charm school

Jay. Ish.

Geonu

**ddeonu**

geoun????

our geonu?????

geonu who threatened to unhinge his jaw and eat me whole???????

**Jungwon**

Geonu who is dating my sibling heeseung

They’re cute together

**ddeonu**

jungwon i feel like that is enough to like

turn off autocaps

**Jungwon**

sometimes i don’t use autocaps

But my computer does it automatically

Also don’t use my stupid crush as an excuse to convert more people to non-capitalization because I know the bet with sunghoon is still going on

**ddeonu**

f

**Jungwon**

I am also disturbed at the amount of Heeseung crushes

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

he’s hot idc

**Jungwon**

They’re my _brother_

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

they _are_

and i want them to run me over _anyways_

**Jungwon**

…

**ddeonu**

…

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

…

**taeyong**

somebody make a compilation of sungcheol singlehandedly destroying the conversation

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

it’s a special talent of mine

**ddeonu**

praying 4 sungcheol to get some 🥶💯🔫

\- - -

**#announcements**

listen up whores

**ddeonu**

I FIGURED OUT HOW TO CHANGE PEOPLE’S NAMES FINALLY I WILL NO LONGER BE CONFUSED WHILE TALKING TO YOU ALL

I AM THE BEGINNING AND THE END

I AM GOD THEMSELF

\- - -

**#general**

store welcome to the general store

**The Rockin’ Red Reaper**

boooooo sunoo don’t change our names

also your deity complex is getting out of hand

**tacobellnoises**

actually i think that would be a good idea.

sunoo change everyone’s names.

**ddeonu**

that reminds me!

i have a great name for sungcheol

**pissbaby❣**

jfc

**ddeonu**

you’re welcome love

(◕ᴗ◕✿)

**pissbaby❣**

stop this

**ddeonu**

i gave you a heart and everything

**pissbaby**

wait give me the heart back

**ddeonu**

no

naughty children do not get hearts

**✿taki✿**

oh mine is cute

thank you sunoo :D

**ddeonu**

you are so welcome

**heeseung lee**

why is my name like this

i’m scared

**ddeonu**

shhhh don’t worry

**jungwon lee**

Sunoo stop this madness

**ddeonu**

well that just makes me mad

**lee #1**

oh no

**lee #2**

I’m sorry please stop

**lee #3**

sunoo what did i do to deserve this

**ddeonu**

sorry youngbin your last name starts with lee

**lee #5**

it’s certainly a change from daniel

**lee #4**

sunoo.

when i said change people’s names.

i didn’t mean last names.

**ddeonu**

i got holy water last time i went to church don’t test me

**lee #4**

you think jesus water is going to prevent me from tearing your from limb to limb?

**ddeonu**

LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU

**echan**

at least my name stayed the same

**ddeonu**

so true bestie

**echan**

I JUST HAD AN IDEA

**ddeonu**

SPILL

**echan**

THIS GROUP CHAT AS HAMILTON

**ddeonu**

OH MY GOD

**Sunghoon Park**

NO.

**lee #3**

you broke sunghoon

oh my god

you broke sunghoon

**pissbaby**

written and directed by twarantion ballerino

\- - -

**#seniors🔒**

Bong bing boo, bing bong bing Bing bong, bingly bungly boo Bing bong bing, bong bing boo

**seonxxs**

echan if you try and put me in there as aaron burr i will never talk to you again

**echan**

it was a perfect excuse to kill jaeho

**hohoho**

bitch

**lee #1**

at least your nicknames are still there

**hohoho**

humor

**lee #4**

i think heeseung would make a great hamilton.

**echan**

aww.

i wanted to be hamilton.

**hohoho**

you’re biased

**seon**

oh shit my name just changed

**hohoho**

aw, babe

i liked the other one more

**seon (ho simp)**

oh my god

**jaeho (seon simp)**

hey echan

**echan**

yes?

**jaeho (seon simp)**

i might just strangle your kids

**echan**

i’ll go give him a heads-up

\- - -

**echan**

DDEONU

**ddeonu**

yeah

**echan**

GUESS WHO’S DATING

**[attached file]**

**ddeonu**

THEY’RE CLALING EACH TOERH BABE????

OH MY GOD

**echan**

I KNOW

**ddeonu**

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**echan**

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**ddeonu**

OH MY GOD I NEED TO TELL EVERYONE

**echan**

they’ll kill you

**ddeonu**

I DON’T CARE THE COUPLE OF THE CENTURY IS FINALLY TOGFETHER

\- - -

**ddeonu**

SUNGHOON SUNGHOON SUNGHOONNNNNNN

**Sunghoon**

Oh, no.

**ddeonu**

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

**Sunghoon**

The cops finally caught you for accidentally stealing those bananas?

**ddeonu**

HEY

it was my first time at self-checkout and i forgot okay

**Sunghoon**

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

\- - -

  
**#announcements**

PAY ATTENTION TO SUNOO

**ddeonu**

EVERYONE CONGRATULATE SEON AND JAEHO FOR FINALLY GETTING THEIR HEADS OUT OF THEIR ASSES AND DATING

\- - -

**#general**

crickets

**ddeonu**

oh, come on

nobody?

**echan**

🎉🎊🎉

\- - -

**#socializing**

find hanbin

**ddeonu**

where _did_ he go

**seon (ho’s boyf)**

well i have no idea

**lee #1**

nice nickname

**seon (ho’s boyf)**

thanks

which lee are you again

**lee #1**

heeseung

**seon (ho’s boyf)**

nrutgdfl

**jaeho (seon’s boyf)**

seon please go take a nap

**seon (ho’s boyf)**

fine

but only because you’re cute

\- - -

**#science**

eeeeee physics 

**lee #5**

i wish to adopt a rat

**lee #4**

why do you want a rat daniel.

we already have sunoo.

**kyungmin**

i-

**lee #4**

you what?

**kyungmin**

good job geonu

**seon (ho’s boyf)**

why are we discussing this in the science chat

**lee #4**

the same reason people discuss you by themselves.

fear.

**seon (ho’s boyf)**

that made no sense

**lee #4**

good.

\- - -

**#announcements**

listen up

**ddeonu**

movie night we’re watching hamilton

echan’s streaming

be there or be circle

\- - -

**#movie-night**

**lee #1**

when are we meeting

**ddeonu**

like rn

\- - -

**voice channels**

**🔊 movie**

**watch stream**

“yo yo yo hold on when are we supposed to do this?”

“when do you think, stupid? he’s streaming right now.”

“how do i click it?”

“click the wATCH STREAM”

“echan we can’t hear”

“echan you’re muted.”

“echan you’re MUTED”

“did he mute us as well”

“ECHAN”

“sorry sorry i don’t know how to- is it streaming? is it split screen?”

“those are your emails with mr. park.”

“oh shoot sorry”

“you’re gonna do a boba drive-through?”

“we’re just bouncing ideas off of each other right now, the school doesn’t want anything that could have trace contact. if we do end up doing a boba thing one person would have to operate the stand and we don’t want that. hey, does it work now?”

“yeah it’s good.”

“cool. also tell more people to come in i’m not doing a three person hamilton stream.”

“i didn’t know you had disney+”

“i don’t.”

“AH SHIT IT’S STARTING FUCK FUCK FUCK DID I MISS ANYTHING”

“SHUT UP SUNGCHEOL”

“ooh you wanna kiss me so bad.”

“wh-”

“i’ll mute both of you if you don’t stop flirting.”

“WE’RE NOT FLIRTING”

“I’M ONLY FLIRTING A LITTLE BIT”

“y’all chill”

“WHEN HE WAS TEN HIS FATHER SPLIT FULL OF IT DEBTRIDDEN TWO YEARS LATER SEE ALEX AND HIS MOTHER BEDRIDDEN”

“oh that is so true.”

“geonu get out of my room!”

“are you watching PORN?”

“NO?! IT’S HAMILTON.”

“oh. it looked sketch.”

“rule 34 type of beat.”

“i will choke you.”

“kinky.”

“wrong musical, sungcheol.”

“PARDON ME, ARE YOU AARON BURR, SIR?”

“bitch, who do you think i am.”

“petty.”

“you punched the bursar?!”

“YES”

“YES”

“HEED NOT THE RABBLE WHO S C R E A M REVOLUTION-”

“DADADADADA DADADADADA DAYADA DADADADADADADAYADA”

“wait wait sorry who’s this guy?”

“the bald one?”

“that’s george washington.”

“oh.”

“GOD I LOVE PHILLIPA SOO”

“HELPLESSSSSSS”

“whose stomach just rumbled”

“sorry that was me.”

“they did angelica so dirty.”

“i thought it was kind of cool. even though there was no basis for it whatsoever.”

“yes there is. alex was a fuckboy.”

“is it whose or who’s?”

“you know i think it’s whatever it needs to be.”

“ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINEEEEEEE”

“IT’S THE TEN DUEL COMMANDMENTS”

“fuck the english language, smh.”

“did you just say smh… out… loud???”

“yes and whatever about it?”

“fuck marry kill the trio”

“fuck hercules, marry lafayette, kill laurens”

“dude, that’s _low”_

“he dies anyway”

*toppling noise in the background*

“man i had a huge crush on daveed diggs”

“look he’s just”

“something about that man”

“he’s just sexy”

“alright jaeho has a velvet kink.”

“nO-”

“shut up i can’t hear”

_just stay alive, that would be enough_

“did you hear that?”

“what, i didn’t hear anything?”

*deflated balloon sounds, mic peaks*

“that was the sound of my heart breaking”

“go to a cardiologist your heart should NOT sound like that”

“GUNS AND SHIPS”

“can anyone actually do the lafayette rap?”

“geonu can.”

“oh shit.”

“villain, i have done thy mother”

*spitting noises*

“WHO JUST SPAT OVER THEIR MONITOR OH MY GOD”

“well, kyungmin just dropped out of the call, so we can probably assume it’s him”

“shhhhhh this is the best part”

“I GOT A SMALL QUERY FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU”

“king george annoys the hell out of me.”

“i smell jealousy.”

“no! he’s just annoying.”

“i can’t believe my best friend’s favorite hamilton song is fucking what comes next.”

“i’m your best friend?”

“uh, yes?”

“thanks.”

“o u c h”

_“so we back in the mine”_

_“got our pickax swinging from side to side”_

_“side-side to side"_

“shut _up”_

\- - -

**aron**

well hello best friend

and let me preface this by apologizing again

sorry

**taeyong**

thank you actually apologizing

and you know i was kind of an ass about it as well

**aron**

no

at least

it was like justified asshole-ness

**taeyong**

you were right

you know

about not everything being a competition between me and taewon

anyways

yeah

**aron**

it doesn’t excuse what i said 

but i missed you

idk it takes a lot to like

rebuilt trust

so i hope you give me time

**taeyong**

yeah, yoonwon

we have time

\- - -

**🔊 movie**

“i don’t know about you guys but i’m exhausted”

“who decided to start streaming at ten thirty”

“echan was excited”

“we can just watch until the intermission pleaseeee”

“hey, where did taeyong go?”

“shut up dear theodosia is playing i’m going to cry”

\- - -

**aron**

on a completely unrelated note jungwon is TERRIBLE at giving advice

**taeyong**

did you try and talk to him after the whole

**aron**

yes because usually like when i fuck up you’re the first person i go to??

and jungwon was awful at it

i left him on read after he was like “Hey uh yoonwon You’re like a good person. Pine-sol.”

**taeyong**

PINE-SOL??

**aron**

yes

**taeyong**

you’re both so stupid

**aron**

i know

**taeyong**

god

but you’re my idiot

**aron**

you’re a sap

how was newspaper?

**taeyong**

_awful_

**aron**

tell me about it

**taeyong**

alright, so this one parent called us up wanting a full four pages dedicated to the fucking xc runners

\- - -

**🔊 movie**

“ _domestic life, was never quite my style”_

“dude why am i tearing up”

“i love kids”

“you called your baby cousin a wrinkled lump of a used condom.”

“he looked like one, jeez.”

“reminder to never let jaeho around children.”

“WOOOOOOOOOOOO NON-STOP IS PLAYING”

“we were robbed of the lauren’s interlude”

“son i would’ve cried so hard i wouldn’t pay attention to the actual next song.”

“trufaxx.”

“I WAS CHOSEN FOR THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION!”

“yo, who the f is this?”

“dude this part goes so hard”

“we’ve converted another. kyungmin, welcome to the hamilfam.”

“i’ve said this like fifty times and i’ll say it again. angelica was done so dirty.”

“HAMILTON WROTE. THE OTHER _FIFTY-NINE!”_

“my head hurts”

“isn’t this cool, though?”

“...intermission! we’re done for tonight, gays and gals and non-binary pals.”

“alright, bye!”

“goodnight.”

“‘nighty night.”

“sleep tight.”

“don’t let the vampires bite.”

“vampires?”

“yes. bye.”

“goodnight, echan.”

“goodnight sunoo!”

**stream ended**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today’s chapter is dedicated to nozomitojosgf because a) the user is spectacular and b) your comments kept me company on these long sleepless nights where i wondered what became of my sense of humor
> 
> before anyone asks: yes, i did change their discord nicknames to their actual names to make it easier for us all, but mostly for me. because i’m lazy. i’ll bring back their stupid nicknames if one (1) of you comments that you like those better because in all honesty i quite like those names.
> 
> yoonwon taeyong tentative friendship again? boy oh boy! spicy days! cookie, you can stop threatening his knees.
> 
> anyways kids never ever say you’re going to have an update schedule because you will immediately ruin it
> 
> ao3 publishes this as february 15th but it is still technically valentine’s day where i live so even though the boys are not running on valentine’s day fumes and this any relationships are coming from the heart and not their sugar high chocolate selves. (as far as i can tell, they’re in october. or maybe november, i don’t have a timeline for them because again: no plot.)
> 
> also have you ever had to out karaoke somebody singing ‘revenge - minecraft song’? because i have and the clip is unlisted on youtube and i will never let it see the light of day.
> 
> if you are hamiltrash like me or simply know how an intermission works, you will note that the boys have only watched half of the pirated movie. (*COUGH* afdah.info *COUGH* [if anyone asks, no i am not promoting pirating. nope, not here. look away, future employers.]) 
> 
> the next update shall bring echan casting the 23 i-land trainees as hamilton characters.
> 
> as always thank you all for reading and commenting and laughing and drop kicking me when i don’t update for an obscene amount of time. i love you all.


End file.
